The Fiesta is enjoying an extended stay on the fleet since Ford don’t seem in any hurry to take it away. Unfortunately, one thing they’ll never ever get back is the original set of wheels because this month some utter scumbag nicked them. I wandered out one night to retrieve something from the car and there it was perched on a pile of bricks like a hot hatch hovercraft. Words cannot express how angry this made me. Or rather there is a word I’d like to use to describe my local wheel thief but it’s unsuitable for polite company. You know the one; rhymes with James Blunt. Suffice to say, whoever you are, I hope you fall into a big pit full of wasps, knives and liquid effluent.

The next morning, once I’d calmed down a bit, I rang Ford and they sent someone over with a set of slave wheels and a truck to take the ST back to their workshop. The good news was that the impromptu masonry-based jacks hadn’t damaged the floorpan and all it needed was new alloys. So, if you’ve got a car like this, I’d strongly advise some tougher locking wheel nuts. And if some bloke offers you a set of used Fiesta ST alloys (slight scuffing on two of the rims), do me a favour and smack him round the knees with a crowbar.