With a deadline looming and security alerts causing chaos at UK airports, the Astra was hijacked by David Vivian and Kenny P for a run over to Germany, where the Brabus Rocket was waiting for them (096).

‘It’s a surprisingly fine tool for this sort of trip,’ reckoned David of the VXR. ‘The seats and driving position are good enough to tackle 370 miles straight with only a couple of brief stops for coffee. And it still felt remarkably frisky even after a day spent with the Rocket.’ Not bad considering the Vauxhall’s 480bhp disadvantage!

Upon its return, the Astra was ready for a drop of the translucent brown stuff. As I couldn’t find an oil branded with (consonant please, Carol) ‘GM-LL-A-025’, I had to settle for a litre of a more generic 5W-30, which the handbook says is OK in ‘exceptional circumstances’ (Sunday afternoons when the nearest Vauxhall dealer is shut?). Wonder if the VXR can tell the difference…