The Golf’s driver’s door was struggling a little with the whole concept of closing, and the windscreen had come out in sympathy with a large crack, so I put in a call to the previously helpful Autohaus of Northampton to explain my woes. ‘Not a problem,’ they said. ‘Jolly good,’ I said. We were getting along swimmingly.

The great day arrived. I removed my bike and golf clubs (you can fit a lot into a Golf) and dropped the GTI off. Later that afternoon they phoned me. I missed their call. I then spent the next few hours trying to raise a member of the service department. I listened to most of a compilation tape whilst on hold, but could get no word on the GTI. Poor show.

At the service desk the next day I was informed that they had repaired the faulty door catch under warranty. Good. They then told me that they had ‘located’ the crack on the windscreen. Would I like a replacement? No, I merely wanted you to engage in a game of ‘hunt the glaringly obvious flaw’ and then leave me with a damaged screen.

Autoglass are outside as I write.