Having blown the dust off the Road Tester's Book of Excuses (the last time I had an off-road excursion was three years ago, in John Barker's wedding car the night before the wedding, but that's another story) I've tried to find a plausible defence. Alas nothing did a sufficiently convincing job of concealing the fact that I braked too hard while turning in, locked a wheel and ran wide onto the grass. From that point on I proceeded, as Martin Brundle would say, straight to the scene of the accident. Arse, and indeed, feck.

Despite making a gut-wrenching noise as it clattered its way to the hedge, the Evo's nose looked remarkably unscathed. No fluid appeared to be leaking, but the steering was a bit wonky and the radiator and intercooler had both been pushed back on their mountings. Having shunted the car, I did what anyone with any sense would do and scarpered off on holiday for a fortnight. In my absence Xtreme Autos (formerly Ralliart) kindly took the car back and replaced the undertray, wheelarch liner, oil cooler and intercooler along with all the sundry pipes and clips. Hopefully John will keep the Evo sticky side down next month.

The other event of note is the Evo's fuel 'economy' which, helped along by Trackday Car of the Year, hit an awe-inspiring new low of 16.4mpg. Blimey.