Living with someone who knows more about carbon emissions than 99 per cent of the rest of the country, it has been difficult trying to keep quiet just how eco-unfriendly the ST is.

When you look through the brochures for new cars you’re presented with CO2 emission figures much the same as those you expect to find on a new fridge. The ST is right near the bottom, in the red band F, with an emissions figure of 224g/km. The average car puts out 190g/km.

To add to this black mark, the ST’s fuel consumption is not too great either. Ford quotes a combined urban and extra urban consumption figure for the ST of 30.5mpg, with an extra urban figure of 41.7mpg. Yet I’m lucky if I average above 25mpg.

OK, so I do tend to drive with a somewhat leaden right foot and I am becoming addicted to booting the ST to get the exhausts to pop. Maybe I could try to drive a bit more economically, but to be honest I’m not sure it would help. Or would it? There’s only one way to find out, so for the sake of the world I’m going to try to get a better mpg figure next month. And if I fail, I’ve been told I should plant some trees. Orange trees, perhaps.