'Ever had one of those mornings when you wish you hadn’t got out of bed?’ asked the truck driver. The witty reply would have been ‘I’m having one now’, but I was still a bit pumped up and concentrating on getting the details of the accident down on the back of an envelope.

I still couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. On my side of the road, on double yellows, there had been a Transit off-loading stuff to a building site, blocking the entrance. Just beyond it, waiting to get access, was a large tipper lorry, parked in the centre lane. I’d seen traffic a few hundred yards in front of me pull out to pass the Transit and tuck back in ahead of the lorry.

I went to do the same and thought the gap was a bit tight, so I stopped alongside the Transit with the cab of the DAF truck looming just in front. It was then that I noticed the truck was rolling ever so slowly towards me. I hit the horn thinking the truckie wasn’t paying attention. Then I looked up into the cab and noticed there was no driver…

I hurriedly snicked the RS4 into reverse and backed up a bit, which got the van behind me tooting his horn. I was trapped, and the truck was still advancing, gradually filling the windscreen. More blasts on the horn and suddenly a figure ran from the pavement, flung the truck door open and clambered up. Too late. I had my foot hard on the brake as the bumper of the DAF crunched slowly, gently even, into the front of the Audi.

As I swapped details with the truckie, he claimed he’d pulled on the air brake but admitted that it couldn’t have engaged fully, hence its slow creep along the near-level road.

Stopping it with the bonnet and bumper of the RS4 will cost a tidy sum, I reckon, even though the damage is less than I expected. I’m just glad nobody was crossing the road.