Skip advert
Advertisement
Long term tests

VW Golf GTI

Catchpole returns to his car 90 euros lighter after being caught speeding

It's infuriating when you warn other people of something and then trip up on it yourself. Mostly because you don't really get full enjoyment out of saying 'I told you so'. Yup, the gendarmes stitched me up like a kipper on the run down to Le Mans.

Long straight bit of road and I was overtaking a lumbering lorry. Quarter of a mile later there was some shrubbery on a roundabout (no big fluorescent van) from which a man with a small hat, leggings and knee-length boots emerged to wave me to the side of the road. The underhand method of entrapment didn't strike me as being entirely cricket, but nevertheless we conversed.

Advertisement - Article continues below

Gendarme: 'Eurrgh, parlez-vous français?'

Me: 'Oui, un petit pois.'

In the face of such obvious fluency he continued 'en anglais': 'Eurrgh... your speed is... eurghh... too much. You pay 90 euros.'

I was tempted to teach him some manners and say 'Pleeease', but he was wearing some sort of pistol and the leggings were scaring me.

Apparently chip and pin hasn't reached them yet and I'm not paid enough to carry 90 euros around willy nilly, so he relieved me of my driving licence and pointed me in the direction of a suspiciously convenient town with an ATM.

Thankfully the rest of the journey was blissfully uneventful, and was a good opportunity to get familiar with the new Michelin Pilot Sport 2 tyres - the original Bridgestones had served a more-than-acceptable 15,000 miles, so I'd swapped both fronts and rears for new rubber just before we left. I'll let you know more about those next month.

Swindling Gallic cops apart, I enjoyed my first Le Mans enormously. I even managed to stay up all night, which was definitely worth it. Or at least it was until it reached about 3.30am the following morning and I was still chasing the xenons back up to Northamptonshire. But then no one ever said that endurance driving was easy.

Running Costs

Date acquiredSeptember 2005
Total mileage16,759
Costs this month£595.60 (four tyres)
Mileage this month2263
MPG this month31.2mpg
Skip advert
Advertisement
Skip advert
Advertisement

Most Popular

Best German cars – performance greats from BMW M, Porsche, AMG and more
Best German cars
Best cars

Best German cars – performance greats from BMW M, Porsche, AMG and more

From Audi to Volkswagen and all in between, Germany has created some outstanding performance cars over the years, and these are some the best
27 Mar 2026
Aston Martin Valhalla review – a new era for Aston, and the supercar genre
Aston Martin Valhalla front
In-depth reviews

Aston Martin Valhalla review – a new era for Aston, and the supercar genre

Aston’s mid-engined supercar is finally here. Can it bridge the gap between the lunacy of Valkyrie and usability of Vantage?
29 Mar 2026
We need a reset: Dickie Meaden on why the modern supercar has finally gone too far
Mercedes-AMG GT 63 S E Performance – details
Opinion

We need a reset: Dickie Meaden on why the modern supercar has finally gone too far

Revisiting the ‘80s has Meaden grappling with the mind-boggling evolution of fast cars
27 Mar 2026