‘There are still a few used car bargains. I almost dare not speak their names’
Jethro confesses an addiction, but one that you almost certainly share
For so long they’ve been our friend. In the busy times when there’s a house full of people and you long to escape for a few minutes. In the quiet times when loneliness descends or there’s a looming sense of dread about an uncertain future. When your partner is watching that TV show you hate, or scrolling through wallpaper patterns or potential furniture purchases and waving for your attention every ten seconds. They’re there for us. Offering hope, firing the imagination. They are – let’s be honest – a part of the family. It’s just that the rest of the family don’t know it.
It’s gone on for so long, too. Seasons change, years roll by, vast changes in our everyday lives are wrought by new technologies, and our trusted friend not only survives but thrives. Allows us a glimpse into a new existence, a more exciting life full of adventure. Goes with us to Costa. To the supermarket. To the kids’ football, rugby or tennis matches. The silent family member who loves to spend time with you and dares you to dream.
I’m talking, of course, about classified ads. Autotrader, PistonHeads, Car and Classic, maybe one of the new auction sites like Collecting Cars or Bring A Trailer for the US oddities. Our quiet place. Our refuge. Our addiction.
You may part from time to time. After buying a new car, you might not look at the classifieds for up to a week. Ten days at a push. Inevitably they draw you back, though. ‘Better just check I got a bargain…’ or ‘Maybe I should have bought one of those instead…’ A classified ad is a very simple thing. Pictures and a few words. Yet they offer endless fascination and feel like home.
Except over the past months, maybe longer, they suddenly don’t feel the same. The hope, the sense that you could reach out and touch the cars listed, the flutter of butterflies when you uncovered a bargain, the way they could transport you to a new chapter in your life… it’s all gone. Instead they are a wasteland of regret. Of what might have been.
As prices climb (and climb, and climb) the classified ads are no longer family. They’re a Dickensian, ghost-like figure showing you the folly of procrastination. Of believing that your own personal attainable dream cars would always be so. And the worst bit of all? No, not that 996s are still so cheap. It’s that this trend doesn’t seem like a blip soon to be corrected. That car you always knew you’d buy one day is slipping ever further out of reach. As crossovers, SUVs and EVs march inevitably onwards in the new car market, it’s no wonder that the old heroes – the cars only ‘the few’ knew about – have been adopted by so many.
Everybody has their own personal tales of grief. Of lost loves. Me? Too many to list, but the most painful are probably Mitsubishi Evos and R33-generation Nissan Skyline GT-Rs. I never envisaged the Japanese car market would suddenly explode to the extent that it has. No, Evos aren’t crazy money (aside from the Mäkinens), but paying £30,000 for a car that was more like £13,000 when a plan was originally formulated is mentally challenging. It shouldn’t matter. In today’s market an Evo VIII MR, for example, still appears a bargain. However, dragging my brain away from a time when I loved those old classified ads seems insurmountable.
So what now? Well, all is not lost. There are a few remaining bargains at all price levels. I almost dare not speak their names. A few are mainstream, highly prized cars that are inexplicably good value. The Audi R8, for example. A Porsche 997 Carrera or Carrera S (and the 996, of course). Aston Martin V8 Vantages also look pretty tempting. However, most of the remaining ‘bargains’ require more imagination, more bravery or – the horror – a single-clutch automated manual. My favourite of these options is the Maserati GranSport. I loved these when new, they look fantastic and they seem to hover around £22,000. Put another way, that’s roughly £10,000 less than a Vauxhall Corsa Electric.
The real lesson is to shift our mindsets when it comes to scrolling classified ads. They are not family nor friend and they’re certainly not constant. They’re a warning that life moves quickly and opportunities should be grabbed with both hands. My advice? Forget that classifieds can be accessed anywhere at any time. Don’t scroll in supermarket queues or when you should be cheering your kids’ sporting adventures. Set time aside for your searches and sit quietly next to an old-fashioned and very loud clock with a foreboding tick-tick-tick. There’s probably an app that will do it. That’s the sound of your favourite car appreciating and your dreams escaping. Life is short. Classifieds are fickle. Buy now and drive happily into the sunset before it’s too late.
This column does not adhere to FCA guidelines and in no way constitutes financial advice. But just pull your finger out, okay?
This story first featured in evo issue 306.
